


Memories

by JemsFormUnderPressure



Series: Newsies/Supergirl Crossover [3]
Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Ace Aro Les, Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Bad Parenting, Bisexual Jack Kelly, F/M, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Flashbacks to character death, Gay Characters, Homophobic Language, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Memories, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Period-Typical Homophobia, Race has ADD, Reincarnation, Tags May Change, i don't know how to tag, mentions of abuse, this is probably crap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-06-13 02:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JemsFormUnderPressure/pseuds/JemsFormUnderPressure
Summary: How various characters get memories of their past lives.Characters: Adeline (Brooklyn), Jack Kelly (Winn), Davey (Anthony), Les (Nick), Katherine, Spot (Isaias), Race (Tyler)





	1. Blue Jays and Rainbow Skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooklyn doesn't like fireworks, she develops a like of history, she becomes inquisitive, and she hides he longing for her old home and life - all because of her memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adeline gets her memories of before. Sorry it's short and choppy.

~Two Years Old~

It was the Fourth of July and Brooklyn's mother decided to bring her to a fireworks show. For better or for worse, as soon as the first firework went off, something in Brooklyn went off. A memory - a deep seeded memory that was probably better off forgotten - and Brooklyn started to cry. When the second firework went off, Brooklyn could see the memory clearly.

_A woman in unusual clothes ran to Brooklyn and spoke some hazy words as a brown package was shoved in her hands. More unclear words were said and Brooklyn was then practically shoved out of a window and onto another platform. A loud, though muffled bang was heard, as Brooklyn ran down steel stairs and tried her best to be strong. Another loud bang rang out from behind her and she knew._

The third and fourth fireworks went off as Brooklyn's mother carried her away, back to their car. A louder, fifth firework was set off as some kids threw some poppers on the ground. Brooklyn's memory replayed.

_The woman in the night dress ran to Brooklyn, panicked and scared. "Take this, Adeline, and run!" The woman whispered as she shoved the brown package into Brooklyn's arms. "You have to run! Get out! Don't let them find you. Don't look back. Just run." The window was open and Brooklyn was being shoved through the tiny opening once again. There was a loud bang as Brooklyn ran down to the street level. All Brooklyn knew was fear at that moment. Another bang sounded._

"Brooklyn, Brooklyn honey, it's fine. You're fine, everything's fine. We're leaving. Everything's ok." her mother soothed. Brooklyn only stopped crying after twenty minutes and countless hushed reassurances from her mom. They never watched firework again after that.

~Four Years Old~

Brooklyn's mother was having friends over. Now, Brooklyn knew she was supposed to behave and not bother the adults, but she wanted to know what they were saying. Brooklyn inched closer to the women and paused to hear what was being said.

"My oldest daughter, Sarah, told me the other day that some mystery was solved, but it had such a mundane outcome. I'm not sure why she bothered to tell me." One of them said.

Brooklyn took another step closer as her mom spoke up. "What was it?"

The original woman clicked her tongue and sighed. "Something about how two and a half thousand dollars was lost over a hundred years ago. The family was killed and the money stolen. But now they're saying that the money wasn't stolen, it was donated. I don't know why they bothered to clarify that - it doesn't effect us and the story was much better without the new ending." Brooklyn fell. But this time, as new memories stormed her mind, she didn't cry. She couldn't even really see clear images, she just knew what they were.

_Her father would come into her room, often worried or tired._

_A boy beaming at her._

_A different boy with that same boy in an alley way._

_A woman trying to tie a sash around her middle._

_Brooklyn falling asleep on an old, worn armchair, the first boy sitting next to her._

_A small piece of chocolate being handed to her._

_The woman feeding her small red candies._

_The boy was selling newspapers._

_A pink, frilly dress._

_Brooklyn collapsing on the doorstep of a large building._

_Green shoes._

"Brooklyn, are you ok?!" her mother exclaimed. She rushed over to Brooklyn and moved her to her feet. "Honey, are you alright?" Brooklyn rapidly blinked a few times and silently nodded. Her mom breathed a sigh of relief and Brooklyn clinged on to her.

She wasn't sure she liked those memories.

~Four Years Old~

"Hey Brooke, do you want to help Mommy ready the newspaper?" Brooklyn grinned and quickly hurried over. "Ok. Thanks Baby." She kissed the side of Brooklyn's head, which made her giggle. "Can you tell me what that says?" Brooklyn's mother asked as she pointed to the date. Brooklyn slowly shook her head. "It's the date. It says-"

"Oh! It says... April, Monday 17, 1992." Her mother beamed at her and nodded. The memory of the boy selling newspapers by her house

"Can you tell me what each word is?" Brooklyn nodded, and as she pointed to each individual word in the date, she said them out loud. "Good job! I'm so proud of you."

"Didn't they used say 1897?" Brooklyn asked in confusion. Luckily, her mom took the confusion as curiosity.

"I think so, yeah. You're so smart, you know that?" Brooklyn giggled as her mom tickled her stomach as a distraction. "Anyway, you know when you turn five?"

"June 24th! Can I have a history book?" Brooklyn excitedly chirped. Her mom laughed lightly at her quirky child's enthusiasm.

"Yes."

~Six Years Old~

Brooklyn giggled as a blue jay swooped around her head. The bird lightly pecked at her hair and she held her hand up. The bird hopped onto her finger and stayed there for a few seconds before finally flying away. "I love you, my Little Blue Jay." She quietly said with an ounce of sadness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be Davey


	2. Bows, Colors, and Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of his dad's inventions sends Winn into a spiral of memories. Despite knowing, deep down, that they're real and belong to him, Winn tires to bury his old memories. Then his dad get arrested and he gets put in a foster home.

~Nine Years Old~

Winn's dad held up a doll to him. "Is this one good?" Winn gasped and grinned as his father spun the doll around. She had a pink and blue striped bow in her hair.

_A young boy that looked like Winn ran up to a woman. The two indistinctly talked for a minutes and the boy held out a pink and blue bow that had bird carving. "I bought this for her last week." The woman smiled sadly at him as she took the gift._

Winn's father sat the toy down and looked at his son with a curious expression.

_The woman, the Winn-look-alike who was now a little older, and a girl around the same age as him were standing in a sweets shop. The woman was paying at a counter while the two kids talked. "... So Ise, uh, really like your dress, it looks good on you."_

_The girl blushed as she played with the light blue hem and bit her lip."Thanks Jack."_

_"_ _You know, blues actually my favorite color." The girl gaped at him in surprise, and the boy, Jack, just calmly stared at her._

_"But blues a girl color!" She said, a bit scandalized._

_Jack, simply shrugged. "Theyse just colors." The older woman then walked back over to them and ushered them out of the store. "If you wanted to, you could wear pink. And not just the stripe in your bow."_

"I love it," Winn said quietly and cleared his throat. His dad lightly laughed at him.

_The girl with the bow turned back to look at Winn. They were both smiling - like it was the happiest day of their lives - and Winn could've sworn they were in love._

"If I didn't know better, I would've thought you were reliving a memory there for a second." Winn forced a smile and shoved the lingering image of the bow out of his head. "Now what should we make next?" Winn's smile became lighter and he mentally told himself to forget those flashes - nothing good would come of being different.

~Nine Years Old~

A young, blond, boy came into their fourth grade class and everyone gasped. The boy had a small crutch, even though the day before he was fine. Winn opened and closed his mouth, unsure as how to react - none of his friends had ever been seriously injured.

A few seconds later, he finally spoke up in a timid voice. "W... What happened? A-are you ok?"

_Winn, er... not Winn, Jack... was hurrying to the theatre when he stopped because he heard a sound. A sniffle. He looked down the alley way to his left and took a cautious step forward. "H-Hello? Are you... Are youse a'right?" There was a short pause._

_"... Jack?" Jack's eyes widened slightly and he hurried over to the person. Jack could now see that the person was a friend - or at least from Winn's perspective. There was a wooden crutch lying next to the boy that had clearly been kicked away from him._

_"Crutchie, what da hell? What happen'd?" Jack asked in serious concern. The other boy, Crutchie, weakly laughed but stopped with a sharp wince._

_After a few labored breaths Crutchie looked up at Jack._ _"The folks I was wit' stopped bein' able to pay for my medical bills." He admitted to Jack, not bothering to hide his pain._

_"So they beat ya an' tossed ya out?" Jack tested incredulously. Crutchie shrugged, not able to do much more movement at that moment._

_"Dey kicked me out so the other kids saw me as fair game." He mumbled out. Jack huffed in anger at his friend's treatment._

_"They looked out for ya for seven years an' they jus' kick ya out?" He whispered in disbelief. Crutchie stayed quiet._

_"Jack?" The two boys looked over and saw the familiar girl._

_"Adeline?"_

The boy with the crutch, Jacob, gave Winn a grin as he walked/limped over. "I jumped off the roof and hurt my knee and ankle. I can't put weight on it. I'm ok though, the doctor said I should be fine in a couple weeks." Winn nodded to the boy with a shaky grin. With a polite nod at Jacob's story, Winn stood up and asked his teacher if he could go to the office - he didn't feel so great and was low-key freaking out. The teacher let him and he breathed a sigh of relief. On the way down, Winn resolved that he would forget about that episode and turned around to go back to class.

~Age Eleven~

Red and blue lights pulsed outside of Winn's home. Winn's mother held him close to her chest with hard look as they watched Winslow Schott Sr. get escorted out of the house by police. He had on cuffs. Winn flinched as a short scene invaded his mind.

_And older man, who didn't quite look like Winn's dad, but had the same feelings attached to him, was navigated into an old automobile. It was a police car. A tiny Winn - no, Jack - stood in the doorway and watched as his father was carted away. His father's drunken yelling was fuzzy and unintelligible except for Jack's apparent name - Francis. Another police man started to walk towards Jack - Francis? - and he just radiated sympathy and annoyance._

The police car door slammed shut and Winn felt his mother kiss his forehead. That was all he needed to push away the memory and find an odd, out of place, sense of calm. One of the police men walked into their house, radiating calm, and Winn's mother ushered him into his room so she could speak with the police.

~Age Twelve~

The kind woman, Lidia, guided Winn through the new house, pointing out different rooms as they passed them. The first few times, Lidia called him Winslow Jr. but Winn's consistent correcting soon changed that. They reached a room with a bunk bed and a single bed, and two other boys hanging around. As soon as the two noticed Lidia and Winn standing in the doorway, they sat/stood up straight and smiled.

"Winn, this is Kevin-" Lidia gestured to the kid standing at the foot of the bunk. "-and that one's Milo." she said. Milo was sitting straight on his single bed with a wide sketchbook laying on his lap. "I'll be in the kitchen if any of you need me." She placed the three bags of Winn's that she was holding next to the bunk bed and left the room. Winn hesitated for a second and then placed the luggage that he was holding with the three bags.

"Your name's Winn?" Milo asked him with an amused expression.

"It's a nickname." Winn said, a little shy. Kevin gave him a warm grin.

"I like it. It's special." Winn easily returned Kevin's easy smile. "Lidia put the bunk beds in a few days ago. I have the top one and Milo obviously has the single bed. You're gonna have to get the bottom bunk." Winn nodded. "So how old are you? We don't usually get too much information from Lidia - she doesn't always know what the kid is comfortable with sharing." Winn sat down on the bottom bunk as Kevin climbed up to the top.

"I'm twelve. My birthday's in seventeen days." Milo grimaced at the new information but Kevin just dangled over the edge of his bed and nodded.

"I'm thirteen, Milo's fifteen. In a year or so, Lidia plans to give him his own room. She doesn't like to place the new kids alone, just in case, and there's only been the two of us for a while, so that's why we're together. But now you're here." Winn nodded along with everything that Kevin said and found himself almost smiling. "What would you like for your upcoming birthday? I always get Milo charcoal pencils and such since he goes through them like crazy."

Winn shrugged but thought for a second nonetheless. "... I don't know... maybe a Sudoku book?"

Milo let out a small laugh. "You act as if you've never been asked that before."

 _"Hey Jack, it's nearly time for the gift exchange." Crutchie told him with a beaming smile. "So what do you hope you'll get?"_ _Jack paused as he thought before offering his best friend a simple shrug. Crutchie shook his head, still smiling. "Yous act as if ya's never been asked tha' before."_

_This time Jack laughed and gently nudged his friend. "I don' care what I get! Us newsies ar' safe an' that's all the mattahs."_

_"Ya sap."_

Winn cast his eyes down and Kevin shot Milo a stern look. "My dad would always let me make a special toy in his workshop... he'd put it out to sell." Milo immediately felt bad for his comment and everyone fell silent.

~Sixteen Years Old~

Kevin quietly laughed as he took his hands away from in front of Winn's eyes. A beautiful, yet simple, confetti birthday cake was sitting on the table in front of him, chocolate ice cream sitting next to it. "Ta-da!" Winn beamed back at Kevin as he moved to grab a knife to cut the cake.

"Who-"

"Momma Lidia bought the cake yesterday before she left for her business trip. She really wishes she could be here today... for your last birthday here." Kevin explained with a happy grin. "More for us I guess, but Momma Lidia did say to leave her a piece." Winn let out a small laugh.

"Easy enough." Kevin placed a slice of cake on one of the plates and carefully pushed it over. As he slid the second piece out with the spatula, Winn pushed it into Kevin's face. Kevin let out an indignant squawk and Winn burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, I hate you." Kevin said with absolutely no fire.

Winn's eyebrow quirked up. "No you love me."

"I do." Kevin said with sudden seriousness. They made eye contact and Winn's mouth twitched up into a smile. A second later, Winn was kissing Kevin, and Kevin was kissing back.

_Adeline and Jack sat at a small table, slowly eating and lightly conversing with each other. There was the feeling of hesitant affection. As they talked, their waiter came over and Adeline plaid for the meal. The waiter hid a small frown._

_""You two lovebirds havin' a good date?" Adeline beamed at him as she tried not to laugh and Jack sat there, embarrassed yet flattered._

_"Oh, sorry Sir, we'se not datin'. But thank you for checking." Jack corrected the man and he laughed._

_"Sure ya ain't. What is it - parents don't approve? I know how it is, be careful when you go out there." Adeline's eyes narrowed just a fraction and her smile became just a bit more sad. Jack sighed._

_"You're right Sir, my dad was furious when he found out that I hung around him. We were a higher class family, I was his only daughter, and this little bandit came an' stole my heart." The waiter nodded as if he knew the story well. Jack fought back the urge to bite his lip and blush. "I'd hate to see his reaction to this." The two teens stood up, the waiter walked away, and the two of them left the deli. "But I can't anymore." Adeline had said softly to herself once they were out of the deli. Jack's heart plummeted and he wished there was a way to turn back time._

_Jack grabbed Adeline's hand and made her look at him. "Hey, you'se real strong, ok? Lyin' to him like that 'bout ya father. I know it's a sore subjec' still." Jack kissed the back of her hand sand she gave him a confused grin._

_"I didn't lie... do you remember that day when I came outside to buy a pape from you? It was right across from my house, unlike the other days where you'd be a block down. When I went back into the house, my pa came out and just yelled at you for ages. You never sold by my house again, and I only ever got your pape once or twice a week afta that." Adeline reminded him with a happy, far-off look._

_Jack was flooded with happy surprise. "Wait, so all youse said in there was true? I didn't even know you remembered that."_

_Adeline nodded with a shy grin. "He came in and yelled at me too, made me promise to never speak to you again." Jack nodded thoughtfully, pretending like this news didn't effect him as much as it did, and let out a small 'huh'. The two started walking again. "That said... everything I said was true..." Adeline waited for Jack - Winn - to catch on._ _Jack shrugged, faking understanding._

_Silence passed between them for a few seconds._

_And then Jack whipped around to her. "Wait so you means ta tell me that you loved me all the ways back then?!" Jack exclaimed with wide eyes. Adeline laughed and nodded enthusiastically. Then they ran into Mr. Thompson and they started to talk. What exactly was said isn't important to Jack, but he slowly felt his annoyance rise the longer Adeline and the vendor spoke._

_"I don't know. I mean, there's no frill, but the company's nice and I'm not trapped inside all the time anymore." She said with a glance to Jack. Jack gave a tiny grin and looked back at Mr. Thompson._

_"So you two're finally toge-" Jack's heart soared at the fact that they were mistaken as a couple. Of course, he would never push Adeline._

_"What?" Mr. Wilson nodded to their intertwined fingers. Jack and Adeline stared for a couple seconds with faint smiles. "Oh. We haven't talked about it."_

_"Well you should."_

_A while passed and Adeline and Jack had been walking through the park until they found a bench. Adeline unceremoniously sat down and Jack, in response, leaned against a nearby tree. "I am so sorry about today." Adeline said._

_"Addy. You said that you were in love with me, what, last year?" Adeline blushed and nodded. "Do youse... still feel that way?"_

_Adeline paused, hesitant to answer._ _"... Yes. Yes, I think I do."_

_Jack nodded and bit back an overjoyed smile. "Good." Jack finally leaned down, gently cupped Adeline's face, and kissed her. Adeline, Jack's true love, tasted like strawberries._

Winn yanked away from his kiss with Kevin with wide eyes and stared at him. "Oh God. Oh no. I'm sorry. T-that- that wasn't- I don't know-"

Kevin looked down at the single piece of cake on the table and swallowed. "Winn, it's fine. If anything, it's my fault."

"You don't taste like strawberries!" Winn blurted out. Kevin gave him a weird look and Winn closed his eyes as he mentally cursed himself out.

"What?"

Winn forced his eyes open. "I'm sorry, it's hard to explain."

"Explain it as best as you can." Kevin said as he wiped the mushed cake off his face. Winn bit his lip and grabbed his slice of cake and a fork. The two boys moved to the living room. Kevin watched Winn expectantly, hurt by his rejection, but still wanting to be as good of a friend as he could in the last week Winn was with him. Winn was trying to stall. Minutes passed. The two boys sat there for nearly fourty five minutes. Finally Winn gave in.

"I've had random flashbacks of another life, another version me, ever since I was around nine. I've tried to block them out and stop them, but I can't, and they just keep coming. I've always blamed it on my dad since he's a bit... crazy... but I don't really know if that's it. I just- I'm sorry." Kevin nodded slowly.

"Ok." Winn snapped his head over and stared at Kevin. "Is it like... reincarnation? Are you reincarnated?" Kevin carefully asked.

"I think so, yeah... Yes, I am." Both boys nodded.

"Did our kiss give you another memory?" Winn nodded. "Ok."

"Kevin, I  _do_ like you, but the one I just got... It showed me and someone that I loved. We finally got together. Kevin, I could  _feel_ the emotions and everything. It was almost as if I was living it again, and I couldn't- having that memory play while I kissed you was... kind of terrible. No offence to you - you're a great kisser and I really like you." Kevin nodded in something similar to understanding.

"I'm not her." Winn nodded. And then he became confused.

"I never said it was a girl."

"No, but you confirmed it for me. And I understand by the way." Winn was intrigued. "I have memories like that too. It happened a lot when I was really young." Winn let a grin show.

"Really?"

Kevin nodded, almost proud. "I was Vincent Van Gogh's lover for a short while. I eventually resigned myself to marry a nice girl. She had a girlfriend named Maria and we all got along well enough. I like my past life." Win blew out a slow huff of air, impressed. "Who were you?"

"My name was Jack and I led the Newsboy strike in 1899... it was right after... after she... My girl passed away. She was sick and we couldn't do anything for her." Kevin gave Winn a sympathetic look and almost moved closer to him.

"What was her name?" Winn let a sad smile cross his face.

"Adeline."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this sucked. Jack and Winn's backgrounds worked so well together that once I got going it just flowed. I love it! If you haven't gotten the gist of it by now, past memories are triggered by things that had deep emotional charges or value in a person's past life. As always, feedback is always appreciated. Please leave a comment and/or kudos if you liked it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!  
> Also, should I do a fourth part of this series of random small parts of these kids' lives? Or should I keep sprinkling them in here?  
> The next chapter will be Race (Tyler).


	3. A New Family and A New Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler (Race) gets some of his memories! He takes his memories in stride, and when his parents die his memories help him. He happens to join a gang (that is annoyingly influenced by the Southside Serpents from Riverdale) and it basically saves his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in a week! I've working on a different story that I soon plan to publish and I'm flying across the country in like two days so..... Again, so sorry about that!! I love you guys!

~Eight Years Old~

 Tyler was sitting on the floor around the tree with his other two cousins, while his parents and one set of his aunts and uncles sat on the chairs and couch. His father was opening one of the few Christmas presents that were on the floor. When his dad saw what he got, he started to laugh.

"Cigars! We're still going with that?" He was thrown into another bout of laughter. Tyler's mom reached over and took one from the fancy box with a smile and he started to protest. "Hey! That's my cigar!" he laughed as he snagged the cigar back.

_Two teens were bickering as they got ready. One of the boys picked up a cigar from the rail on the bunk bed and the other immediately snatched it out of his hand._

_"Hey, that's my cigar!" The first guy yelled as he reached to grab it back._

Tyler felt oddly protective over the boy's cigar and he forced himself not to stare at his father's gift. Instead, he stared to fidget in his place on the carpet. His older cousin handed him the next present, which was his, so that his hands had something to do. Tyler shot him a grateful smile.

~Nine Years Old~

"Tyler, we're going to get you something you can play with in class. Do you have any ideas?" His mother called from the next room over. Tyler poked his head out and grinned.

"Ci- pocket watch? Pencil?" his mom chuckled and shook her head.

"A pocket watch?" She repeated.

_The boy, younger this time and identical to Tyler, looked down at the solid gold pocket watch in his hand. "Race?" Tyler, or Race, snapped his head up to the guy that spoke and jammed the watch into his pocket._

_"Finch?" Race noted with a mildly relieved grin._

_"A pocket watch?" Finch tested with a grin. Race narrowed his eyes and glared at his friend._

_"Touch it, I'll soak ya."_

_Finch scoffed and sent Race a brighter smile. "You wouldn' hurt a fly."_

"Tyler?" Tyler shook his head and gave his mother a weak smile and a laugh.

~Twelve Years Old~

"Class, this is our new student, Tyler." The kids in the room stared unblinking at Tyler and the teacher repressed a sigh. "Tyler, your seat is going to be by Isaias for now. Isaias, raise your hand for Tyler." A kid near the back narrowed his eyes, and was clearly about to mouth off to the teacher, but paused when he actually looked at Tyler. Isaias lazily raised his hand and Tyler could feel the surprise from the teacher as he walked to his new seat.

"So, youse da new kid?" Tyler hesitantly nodded. "How many grades did youse skip?"

"U-um, two? I was home schooled... before." Tyler nervously answered Isaias. Isaias raised his eyebrows.

"Smart kid, huh? Well, if you need somthin' don't ask me." Tyler nodded once again.

_Race, who Tyler was starting to look more like, had an unused cigar in between two fingers. A falsely confident smirk was settled on his face as he stepped across a bridge. The scene flashed forward a few minutes and the guy was now infront of- of someone who looked a bit like an older Isaias. The older Isaias narrowed his eyes and nodded for the kid that escorted Race to leave._

_"Race."  The older Isaias gruffly said._

_"Hey Spot. You called?" Race sarcastically asked with a cheeky smile._

_"Whata you been doin' sellin' in Brooklyn? That's_ our _turf." Race started to twirl the cigar between his fingers and raised a single eyebrow for just a split second. He was definitely making the other quite irritated._

_"It's not like you got boys sellin' there. And it makes good pay." Race answered honestly._

_"Smart kid."  Spot mumbled, just barely loud enough for Race to hear. "I don' have guys there 'cause there ain't good guys there." Race feigned gratitude and gasped._

_"I didn' know you cared 'bout me." Spot scoffed and rolled his eyes Race's antics._

_"Well, if ya need somethin', don' ask me." He told Race. Race saluted Spot and turned to leave._

With shaky hands, Tyler got out a pencil and tried to write the notes for math. By the end of the line, Tyler actually tried to read what he wrote and found that he couldn't. The rest of the hour, Tyler just did anything that would look like he was really taking notes. The bell rang and Tyler jumped when Isaias flippantly put a folded paper on his desk. Tyler picked up the rest of his things and carefully slid the note on top of his pile.

When he got to his next class, Tyler unfolded the paper. It was the math notes. Tyler flipped the paper over and noticed that Isaias had wrote something else.

**Stop writing Race, Spot and Brooklyn on your paper. And get something for your ADD. Or anxiety. If I have to sit by that for the rest of the semester, I'm gonna lose it**

Tyler heavily blushed as he tucked the paper into his math folder, but a part of him couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected concern.

**Race, Spot and Brooklyn**

_Race grinned up at Spot, and Spot rolled his eyes. "Who woulda thought? Race, Spot, and Brooklyn." Race mused and looked down at their intertwined finger. "Don't go soft on me now, Spot." Spot leaned down and briefly kissed race before looking back out at Brooklyn._

_"Race, Spot, and Brooklyn."_

~Thirteen Years Old~

Tyler wrapped his coat tighter around him as he walked down the street. He had used his neighbor's phone and got a hold of Isaias, and was on his way to meet him. His neighbors had given him a look of pity and Tyler hated it. Minutes later, Tyler found himself standing in front of Isaias, close to tears but refusing to let them fall.

"So your house." Tyler nodded mutely. "And your folks?" Tyler hesitated before he nodded again. "Sorry Race." Tyler snapped his head up to Isaias, who barely registered his mistake.

"You know?" Tyler asked him with a tiny bit of excitement. Isaias rolled his eyes and steered Race towards his home.

"Course I do. And it's not like you hid that you knew either. The boy 'ere call me Spot, so I expect you to do the same." Tyler agreed and a small smile found it's way onto his face.

Race looked down at their hands, not close enough to touch and shook off the urge to grab Spot's hand. "Race, Spot, and... not quite Brooklyn, but we're almost there." Isaias almost laughed at that and shook his head in amusement.

"We missed it by three blocks."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure who the next chapter will be or when I'll be able to update next. I'll probably do Isaias (Spot) but I'm not 100% sure. If I do, then I'll only do a few early memories, but I'll go more into his and Tyler's (Race) high school years. Please bare with me, I'll update within the next week or so. Also, if you guys want, I can do more chapters on a character or do a character I don't have listed.


	4. Seeing Spots And Kids In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spot (Isaias) gets a few memories, helps some kids, and takes in Race. I'm not entirely sure what gonna be in this chapter, sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a lot more than I expected to, but that ok. And even though I've been dreading writing this one, I actually really love this chapter. I'm a lot happier with this chapter than the last, and I hope the crapiness from that last one didn't dissuade anyone from continuing to read this.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of abuse, mentions of homophobia
> 
> More notes at the end

~Four Years Old~

“Don’t touch me! I don’t care if my mom’s gone, I’m sure as hell not going with you!” screamed a very young, very angry, Isaias Russo. They police officer sighed and took his hand off the boy’s shoulder.

“I’m only trying to help you, Isaias.”

Isaias frowned and crossed his arms. “I don’t want your help! I want everyone to leave me alone.”

“We can’t do that kid. We’re still trying to get ahold of any relatives to see if they could take you in. Once we arrange your new living situation, then you can go. We’re just trying to keep you safe.” Isaias pursed his lips and huffed.

“I don’t want to go with family.”

“Isaias, I know that you probably want to be with your mother and fath-”

“No. I’m glad I never have to see my father.” The police officer stilled and reached out with his hand to comfort him again.

“... Did he hit you?” He asked in a quiet voice.

 _A teen - though to Isaias he seemed much more like an oldish man - sat on a metal grate, a fire escape. His legs were dangling off the edge and he looked peaceful._ Looked _. Isaias could sense the inner turmoil. Another guy, one that looked slightly younger, but no less authoritative, sat down next to him. A few seconds passed before either guy spoke._

_“I’m sorry. I know… I knows fam’ly’s a touchy subject. But, Spot… did… did they hit you?” The second guy softly asked. The first guy, Spot, turned away from him slightly and the second one reached to grab his sleeve._

_“Race. Drop it.” A few more minutes passed in silence, but Race did move closer and hesitantly followed through with grabbing Spot’s shirt. Another minute passed before Spot turned back to Race and moved an inch closer._

_The rest of the memory passed in an odd haze, and soon, Race kissed Spot’s hand. He then stood up with a tiny grin and walked inside, ignoring Spot’s reaction of surprise._

“Yes.” Isaias admitted to the officer after a long pause. Isaias then moved away from the hand again.

“We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.” The officer looked like he wanted to say more but another cop poked his head in.

“Hey Conrad? We were able to get ahold of his… Aunt.” The first cop raised an eyebrow but nodded. I’ll be right there. Can you get Matheson in here?”

“Sure thing.” He spared a glance to Isaias, who blatantly refused to look back. A minute later, a woman officer walked in and Officer Conrad, the first guy, left the room. Isaias refused to acknowledge until she introduced herself and started the conversation first.

That didn’t take too long.

“So you’re Isaias? I’m Officer Matheson. How’re you holdin’ up?” she said as she sat across from him. Isaias looked at her with confusion.

“You ain’t from around here, are you?” Isaias expected a less than pleasant reaction from his bluntness, but Officer Matheson just smiled.

“You’re a clever one. No, I’m not from around here. I moved from across the country a few years ago. Is travelling something you’d like to do at some point?” Isaias decided she was much more likeable than Officer Conrad. Isaias nodded to answer her question and she smiled wider. “Well, maybe you’ll get to.”

~Three Days Later~

Officer Matheson and another officer who Isaias didn’t catch the name of walked him up to the doors of a large building. Isaias caught sight of a plaque near the door.

Mia’s Home for Children

And another plaque beneath it.

M & E’s Orphanage

Isaias couldn’t really read the last word, but he did know it usually wasn’t good. “I don’t wanna go here.” He tried to turn around, leave, but Officer Matheson caught him before he even took two steps.

“Isaias, please, you’re aunts live here. Your aunts are the ones that run and take care of the place. They’ll take good care of you.” She made sure that Isaias made eye contact before nodding. “Thank you.” The other officer rang the doorbell, and the noise that was only a very dull rumble turned into a chaotic mess. They all winced.

Shortly after, A woman opened the door with a sigh and a smile. “Millie, stop running! And Ben, I told you to quiet down! Do I need to get Elisa?”

“No. Sorry Ms. Mia.” A boy called from around the corner. Mia’s grin turned smug.

“Ms. Russo?” Mia’s smile dimmed slightly and she nodded. “We’re with the NYPD. I’m Officer Matheson and this is Officer Ramirez. Officer Woods called and spoke to you about Isaias and his situation.” Mia’s eyes lit up again and she looked down at Isaias.

“Isaias?” The three of them nodded. “Well, it’s nice to finally meet you. I really didn’t think I’d ever get the chance.” Mia then turned her attention back to the cops. “Come in, please.”

~Four Years Old~

“If you’re my fam’ly, why ‘ave we never met?” Isaias asked Mia with a frown. Mia tensed and looked to Elisa. Elisa offered her a reassuring smile.

“Your father’s parents kicked me out of the house when I was 14 because they found out I kissed a girl. They said it wasn’t natural and that I was an abomination and brought shame to the family. They cut off all communication with me, and for a while I was fine with it. I heard that Melissa was pregnant, but I never knew when you were born or your name.” Elisa gave Mia’s hand a squeeze and Isaias sucked in a sharp breath as another scene hit him.

_Spot’s eyes were wide. He was young, and at whatever age he was, he almost looked like Isaias. A tall, buff man was standing over him, shouting at the top of his lungs. His face was red._

_“I won’t have an invert like you in my house! You’re unnatural, that’s what you are! You’re disgusting, and abomination! You bring shame to this family. Never show your face here ‘gain!” Spot scrambled to his feet and looked down the streets. It was night and the streets were mostly empty, but people were opening their doors and windows to hear the drama. “Get outta here! We never wan’ to see ya ‘gain!” Spot nodded and hurried down the streets, away from his still screaming father. Some of the people that were watching left to give him a little more dignity, but others ogled as he hurried away._

“Isaias? Are you ok? I know- I know your father wasn’t kind to you… did I bring something up? I’m so sorry if I did.” Mia said with concern. Isaias looked between the two women and swallowed.

“I… I’m fine. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.” Isaias quickly stood from his seat and hurried out of the room. He ignored Mia calling out to him.

~Five Years Old~

Isaias studiously ignored the women outside his window. He refused to look at another painful reminder. Or at least he tried. He didn’t even hear a knock on his door frame.

“Isaias?” He looked over at Elisa as she crossed the room. “Ah. The nuns. I think they look oddly beautiful in a… sad sort of way.”

Isaias glanced back at the five nuns and then forced himself to look at his book. “I hate ‘em.” Elisa raised an eyebrow.

_There was a large group of kids, mostly boys, but there were a few girls as well. Isaias could barely pick out Spot. He was a little older this time and was making sure the younger kids were all taken care of in his stand offish way._

“Hate?”

“Yes.”

“Can I ask why?” Isaias gritted his teeth but stayed silent. “Ok. I get that  it’s probably personal. Mia wanted me to tell you that lunch is ready.” Elisa waited for Isaias to leave before she followed, having learned from previous experience.

~Seven Years Old~

“Let’s get ‘im boys!” Isaias heard a dark chuckle afterwards and glared. The group of boys took off down street, towards a small, almost sickly, kid.

_Isaias watched as over 100 kids fought back against men who looked like police officers. A sense of fear and determination came from the group. Spot had a smug grin as he decked a guy clean in the nose. Kids and officials alike were doing what was needed to stay alive._

Isaias felt a surge of confidence and took off after the group, intending to show them a lesson.

And he did.

But he also went home with a broken nose, a few cuts, a possible broken rib, and a scrawny kid who was a bit worse off.

His Aunt Mia and Elisa were not happy about the blood and lack of control that Isaias showed. However, despite their anger, they were both extremely proud that he tried to protect the stranger. Once they patched the two boys up, they got a little bit of information from the guy Isaias helped. His name was Alexander.

A month later, the orphanage gained a new resident.

~Eleven Years Old~

Isaias scowled as an older woman, who was supposedly Aunt Elisa’s grandmother, continued to talk. He knew she could tell that he wanted to leave, she was just being irritating as all hell.

“Do you have anyone you’re sweet on? I bet you have all the girls falling over you. And probably some guys.” Isaias blanched at that, His hands started to shake, not that he noticed, and he cleared his throat.

“Uh? Life may’ve been more ‘ceptin’ in the 1890’s but that ended within 10 years. B’sides, I’m too young for that stuff.”

“So you have a guy?” She asked, completely writing off the last bit that Isaias had said.

_“So…” Race started to fiddle with his hands and rocked on his heels. “You got a guy?” Spot paused for a split second but quickly resumed his movements so Race wouldn’t suspect anything._

_“No? Wha’dya hear?” Race shrugged._

_“Just a random newsie. Said somethin’ about suspec’tin’  ya liked guys.” Race paused to see Spot’s reaction. Spot continued what he was doing and kept his face carefully blank. “Then he said he’d love to have a night with ya.” Spot looked over and couldn’t help the surprise that showed._

_“Really?” He felt oddly flattered. The corner of Race’s mouth quirked up and Spot shook his head. “It don’t mattah. ‘Sides…” Spot hesitated before he continued. “There’s only one person I got eyes for.” Race tilted his head and grinned wider as he moved closer. “Not that he knows.” Spot mumbled to himself._

“Nonna, don’t embarrass him. Isaias doesn’t need to start thinking about that stuff.” Elisa quickly said. Her grandmother just grinned. “Isaias, do you want more food?” Isaias took the chance to leave the conversation.

~Thirteen Years Old~

Isaias smiled lightly at the new girl, Liliana, as she stuttered her way through her sentence. Isaias wasn’t fully listening, but he _knew_. He knew that she was admitting to him that she liked him. If he was honest, he was flattered. But he was also mildly uncomfortable and felt a bit sorry for her.

Liliana then sighed. “I like you!” She blurted out. Isaias almost laughed.

_“I like you! Ok?” Spot accidentally yelled. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. A couple seconds later, Spot looked back at Race who was beaming._

_“It’s about damn time, Conlon.” Race closed the gap between them, but didn’t kiss him. Spot could tell Race was fighting the urge to do it though, and that just about made him smile. Instead, Spot kissed Race for him. He pulled back soon after and took a step back._

_“I have for a whiles.” Spot finished._

Isaias shook away the memory and finished preparing himself to let Liliana down. “Lili… I don’t feel that way.” Then he remembered a different memory and decided to repeat himself. “There’s only one person I got eyes for.” Liliana started tearing up. “Sorry.”

~Fourteen Years old~

Spot quietly entered the living room and waved to his aunts. They took notice of how he lingered and sat up.

“What’s up?”

“There’s a new kid in my math class. He sits next to me, has been for two weeks.” His aunts shared a knowing look. “He has ADD and struggles a bit with fidgeting.” He paused for a few second, unsure if he wanted to continue. “Can we get him something to help?” His Aunt Mia and Elisa smiled happily and readily agreed. “We used to know each other a long time ago. I think he remembers but-” Isaias cut himself off, straightened up, and left the room with a light blush rising from his neck.

~Fifteen Years Old~

Isaias walked in with Race - Tyler - and double checked that they weren’t disrupting anyone. A couple of the kids gave them looks, but no one bothered them as they went to find Aunt Mia and Aunt Elisa. They really needed to talk about Race staying for at least a week, though hopefully it’d be a more permanent stay.

~Seventeen Years Old~

“Hey Spot?” Isaias looked over to Tyler so he’d continue. “How would you feel about going on a date?” Spot fought t the oncoming smile.

“I’m kinda busy doing my homework right now.” Tyler narrowed his eyes.

“I’m serious. A date. With me.”

“Well I thought you’d never ask, but why now?” Isaias asked dryly.

Tyler bit his lip. “Your birthday’s in a week and a half and I want to start dating before you turn eighteen.” He admitted. Spot let out a laughed and motioned him over. Tyler rushed over and Isaias lightly kissed him.

“I’d love to date you.”

Tyler beamed at him for a second and then his smile turned a little more mischievous. “Wow, I guess love transcends lifetimes.” Isaias hit him with a pillow for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave kudos and/or a comment if you like it! Feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome. Just remember - the more love you give, the more motivation I get, and the more chapters you guys all get.  
> If you want me to do a certain person, or if you want me to expand on one of the people I've already done, please tell me. Also, I just realized that I had like three more scenes for Race that I never added. So I am definitely adding another chapter for him.  
> Love you bunches and please keep reading!


	5. What Is Love? Oh, I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Les goes through the first few years of life with some odd memories popping up - for instance, a wedding. However, as more memories come up, the more broken Les starts to feel. Yes, unlike the others', Les' memories are not kind to him. Too bad he he doesn't have someone to turn to... until he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Aphobic language and internalized aphobia resulting in self depreciating language
> 
> I didn't expect to fall in love with ace/aro Les but here we are. I put this poor child through so much crap. Like, there is no way he doesn't spend nearly ten years being swallowed by depression, self-hatred, internalized aphobia and probably anxiety. But I don't go real in depth with it, so there's that. Btw this took up half of my word docs that I started writing these in.  
> RACE AND LES DO NOT GET TOGETHER. LES IS ACE/ARO AND COMPLETE WITHOUT A SIGNIFICANT OTHER OF ANY KIND.
> 
> ((And, uh, this kinda turned into a coming out fic... oops?))

~Five Years Old~

“Bye Mom!” Anthony called as he grabbed Nick’s hand. They made it to the bus and climbed onto the metal container of pure noise and chaos. Well, that’s what is was in the afternoon, in the mornings everyone was still practically asleep.

It was the third week of school and Nick did not like it, not one bit. Yes it was Kindergarten and all they did was play and learn the alphabet and numbers and rhymes - but that was literally all they did! Nick had three older siblings so he already knew this stuff! But the other kids were all nice and the toys were awesome and they got to eat in the classroom and go outside to play!

The first half of the day went by normally, Les scribbling on a paper but paying attention to whatever was going on. Then when they got to play with the toys around the room Les moved to the toy cars.

“Hi, can I play with you?” A girl asked him with a smile as she sat down.

“Yeah!”

“I’m Leslie, er, I’m Les.”

_A boy helped another boy, who looked an awful lot like Nick, up from the ground. They were both quite young - the one on the ground was around Nick’s own age while the other one was maybe a year or so older. The older one was a little dirtier than Nick’s look-alike._

_“Sorry about that. I’m a little late. I’m Andrew.” Andrew stuck out his hand for the other to shake._

_The kid shook it with a smile. “I’m Leslie, or… I’m Les.”_

_“Nice ta meechya Les! I gotta run. See ya later?”_

_Les enthusiastically nodded as the other boy started to back up. “Def’nit’ly.”_

“I-I’m Nick.”

Nick brushed off the weird scene as a dream he had forgotten.

~Eight years Old~

“Nick, are you ready?” His mother called out as she rushed around the house.

“Yes Mama!” Nick then turned to Anthony and frowned. “What so special that we gotta go too? We don’t know them, do we? It’s not family.”

Anthony gave a heavy sigh and rolled his eyes but he also gave Nick a tiny grin. “It’s a wedding. Weddings are special and important events that make people happy. These are mom’s friends. All we gotta do is sit there quietly and behave. We’ll get free food after and then we can run around and do whatever.” Nick frowned.

“If weddings make people happy then why have you been so grumpy and mad?”

“I- they make _other_ people happy. I don’t like them. Why should anyone have to spend their whole life with one person? They might not even like each other.” Anthony said softly as the two headed out of the house.

During the wedding, Nick happened to look over to Anthony. He was staring at the ground, tears about to fall. Nick scooted closer to him.

“I do.”

“I do.”

 _“I do.” A young woman quietly vowed, hands gently held by a young man’s. The priest said a few more things and then the young man repeated his vow. His voice cracked. Les looked around at the attendees and frowned at the cooing and the smiles._ Couldn’t anyone see how uncomfortable the two people were?

_“You may now kiss the bride.” The newlywed couple moved closer and they shared a very quick kiss. Happy clapping was heard around the room. Les frowned - the man, his brother he somehow knew, was radiating sadness to the point where Les almost thought it was grief._

_“Fuck this.” The oddly familiar guy next to him muttered. “Davey shouldn’t have to marry her.”_

Nick stared at his brother with wide eyes. He suddenly understood why Anthony hated weddings so much - he had been forced into one. Nick didn’t know how exactly he knew that the man in his… memory was his brother now, but he did know that that assumption was correct.

And then everyone was filing out of the room, waddling down the isles and out to the parking lot. Nick grabbed Anthony’s hand, ignoring the look he got from him, and walked out with him. Nick knew that he’d do what he could to stop his brother from going through that again.

~Nine Years Old~

Christmas parties were the bane of the Jacobs family’s existence. Especially for Nick, or Les as he sometimes introduced himself as, since these get togethers meant constantly getting asked -

“Do you have a girlfriend yet?” His aunt’s mother cooed. “I bet you have all the girls falling for you with that cute face of yours.”

_“I bet you have all the girls falling for you and that cute face a yours.” a girl, who looked similar to his sister said with a grin._

_Les, a couple years older than Nick was, paused and glanced to Davey nervously. “Actually no. I don’t like girls. One date was good enough for me, thank you very much.” He said loudly and held his head a little higher._

_“Oh. So… is there a… a boy then?” Les faltered a little._

_“No. I don’t think I like guys either.” Their mother came into the kitchen and gave Les a soft smile._

_“You’re just a late bloomer sweetie. You’ll find plenty of girls you like by the time you’ve grown up.” She patted her son’s cheek and pulled on her coat. Les averted his eyes and bit his tongue - he wasn’t quite sure his mother was right. Their mother left the house then, and there was a heavy pause as the older two shared a look._

_“I’m sure everything’ll work out fine, Les.” Sarah tried to reassure him and sent him a tiny grin. Les could only nod._

“I don’t like girls.” Nick found himself saying, much to his surprise. He was also surprised to find that it was true.

“Oh, you’re still young. You’ll find a girl you like in no time.” The old woman crooned. Les frowned and bit his tongue. And then he stopped himself.

“No, I don’t think I will, Aunt Margerie. I don’t think I’ll find anyone I’m really interested in - boy or girl or something else. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna get more food.” Nick, and more so Les, turned his back and headed to the snack table, completely aware of stares he was getting from Anthony and his mother.

A few minutes later, his mom came over and quietly thanked him for giving them a reason not to come back. Nick found himself preening at the praise for defending himself.

~Fifteen Years Old~

Nick, or Les as he’d been telling more people, was laying on his bed on a Friday evening reliving certain memories - both from his current and previous life - and low-key hating himself. He had realised a couple days ago that what he told his Aunt Margerie in anger during the Christmas party was true. He just wasn’t interested in people, romantically or otherwise.

Sure he’d made some friends, but he always felt like there was this weird expectation on him to find someone - to be like everyone else. He had tried dating once, but that ended as soon as he broke down crying because he couldn’t make himself love her. She stayed his friend though.

Two days ago, Nick came to the conclusion that he was broken. He had started to search online for reasons but he closed out almost as soon as the google page loaded. He couldn’t bear going on the internet only to have it and other people tell him he was a freak of nature.

Then there was a soft knock at the door. “Hey Nick, can I come in?” It was Dav- Anthony. Nick sniffled and weakly called him in. Anthony entered, closed the door, and then sat on the bed next to Nick. All with minimal noise. “Hey, you want to talk about it?” Nick hesitated. “Was it what mom said at dinner the other day? About Jordan?” Nick shook his head. Anthony watched a war go on in his younger brother’s head and pulled him in for a hug. The dam broke and the tears flowed from Nick’s eyes, sobs wracking his body.

“Ican’tlove. I’veneverlovednotevenwhenIwasLesandIjustknowI’mbroken. Ialwayshavebeen - evenin1901and1896 andnowinthislifetooandIdon’twanttobebroken. Daveywhycan’tIlove?” Anthony’s brain nearly stopped working when he heard the dates and their past names. But he forced himself to stay present and comforting for his little brother.

“Nick, er, Les… I don’t know why you think you’re broken, but I can promise you that you aren’t, and you never have been broken. Ok?” He firmly told Nick. Nick hesitated, but slowly nodded after a little bit. “Can you explain it to me?”

Nick pulled pack and wiped the tears off his face. “I don’t know but… I don’t know, I can’t really explain it right now. I’m sorry I cried on you.” Nick softly apologized, mostly just wanting to never think about it ever again. Davey stood but kept his worried gaze on him for another minute before he finally sighed and left his room. Nick went to sleep shortly after.

Nick woke up the next morning to a text from Rem.

Rem - Aromantic/asexual

Nick stared at he text in confusion. What is the good Lord’s name did that even mean? Nick decided to ignore both the text and his feelings to deal with for another time.

~Sixteen Years Old~

The county fair was in town and Nick had decided to go with his pseudo-boyfriend, Eli (they were 100% in a QPR but at this point Nick doesn’t even realise he’s part of the LGBTQ+ community, Eli on the other hand is bi). It had been a fairly calm and normal evening at the fair. And then they went on the tea cup ride and Nick got the strange overpowering feeling that he was being rolled in a barrel and people were fighting around him.

He knew what that meant and he forced himself so smile through his increasing adrenaline.

~Twenty Years Old~

“So. Still single huh, Sweets?” Nick’s roommate asked as they pack up their things. “Guess you hooked up with a lot of people then.”

Nick’s heart dropped to his stomach. “You’re single right?” They looked over at Nick with a quirked eyebrow.

“Yeah why?”

“And you’re, uh, pansexual right?”

“Yes? Why?”

“Can I try something with you?”

“Sweets, are you questioning?” Harley asked, their gaze softenting. Nick lightly blushed and he forced himself to shrug. “You can try whatever you want with me, Sweets.” Nick nodded slowly to himself and he crossed the room.

“Are you sure?” Harley grinned and nodded once. “Ok…” Nick leaned in and lightly kissed his aesthetically pleasing roommate.

There was nothing.

Nick pulled back and frowned.

“Nothin for you, huh?” Harley guessed with a tiny smirk. “Sad. But I guess I can’t be everyone’s choice.”

Nick continued frowning. “Why?”

Harley paused warily. “Why what, Sweets?”

“Why can’t I feel anything? I’ve tried girls, I’ve tried boys, I’ve tried you! And still nothing, I-” Nick choked up, and after two seconds, forced in a large breath.

“Nick, that’s perfectly fine. It’s normal. Have you, have you heard of aromantic or asexual?” Nick shook his head, tears welling up. “How about you stay with me for a few days?” Nick nodded.

~Twenty Three Years Old~

Nick was hanging out with Tyler (Race) in the other’s apartment - it was movie day - and the two were basically intertwined. It was peaceful and the two could just enjoy themselves. Spot was out on a date night with his girlfriend - though they both boys knew Spot was going to break up with her - so Nick and Tyler had the apartment to themselves.

The hours ticked by as they watched movie after movie and ate too many snacks. And then ten o’clock rolled around. Tyler sighed.

“Race? Somethin’ wrong?”

“Did you know that your brother thinks we’re dating?” Tyler bluntly and quickly asked the unassuming man next to him.

Nick choked on the bite of pizza he had just taken. “ _What_?!”

“Uh, yeah. Never understood it till now.” Nick stared at him with wide eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing really! It’s just that we are awfully physical. And I meant like holding hands and cuddling and shit! Not sex! Obviously.” Both of them subconsciously moved away from each other.

“Dude. I’m ace aro.” Nick deadpanned as he picked up his pizza as if coming out was a daily occurrence for him. It wasn’t. Tyler was actually only the third person Nick had ever told.

“Oh thank God.” Tyler breathed out with a smile. “I really didn’t want to let you down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making y'all wait. My anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and writers block all hit at the same time. Life's a bitch. But here you go! I love you guys!  
> Also, sorry for not having a lot of memories and having a lot of plot. The coming out story line was completely unplanned but I really loved it so... yeah.  
> Please comment and/or leave Kudos <3


	6. You've Got me Spinning Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Davey's head is spinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while. So sorry about that. Life's been a little chaotic - mostly because I started therapy, but also because of holidays and college and school. I hope you like this chapter and that it lives up to your expectations!

~3 Years Old~

A young Anthony, just barely 3, threw the book in his hand across the room. “I don’t like it!”

His mother sighed and turned Anthony towards her. “You don’t like it?” Anthony fervently shook his head with a pout. “Why don’t you like it Anthony?”

“Too hard.” He mumbled as he curled into a ball.

“The book is too hard for you to read?” His mother repeated. Anthony nodded his head without looking at his mother and she hesitated. “So you quit reading?” Another nod. “Ok. Hey Anthony? Can you look at me?” There was no movement from Anthony for a few seconds before he, very slowly, unfolded himself. “Thank you. Anthony? I know you don’t want to read the book. But… Tell me how quitting does you any good?”

_ “Tell me how quitting does Crutchie  _ any _ good?!” A tall guy demanded, getting awfully frustrated at the other guy that was there. The other guy, who was covered in paint, made a half-hearted attempt at replying and instead he made something equal to a bunch of consonants stringed together. _

_ Anthony frowned in confusion (much to the dismay of his mother) and the scene continued to play out. “Exactly.” The non-paint splattered guy continued. “So  _ here’s  _ how it goes once we win, and we  _ will _ be winning, make no mistake.” He continued with an intriguing fire. _

_ The other guy frowned and looked at him as if he had grown another head. “We’ll be what?” _

_ “We’re already winning.” _

_ “Right.” _

“Quitting… doesn’t help.” Anthony finally responded to his mother who had, surprisingly, waited for him to respond.

She gave him a soft smile and ruffled his hair a little. “Exactly. Please pick up the book sweetie.”

~5 Years Old~

“Anthony, what’re you reading bud?” Anthony looked up at his mother and blinked owlishly.

“Santa Fe.”

“Is it a real place? That Santa Fe?” His mom asked purely to humor him and get him to talk.

_ “I’ll leave you with your friend.” A woman that resonated love walked away from two teenage boys and out of the room. The memory’s holder quickly looked to the other guy, the one in a familiar paint covered apron, and a warm but harsh feeling crept into Anthony’s mind. _

_ “Did ya ever think I didn’ wanna be found?” The frowny and unhappy one sharply asked as he started to turn back to the painting behind him. _

_ “Is that a real place - that Santa Fe?” No response. “Hey did ya see the papes? We’re front page news - above the fold. Oh yes. Above. The fold.” _

_ The guy covered in paint sent him a glare. “Good for you.” _

_ “Everyone wants to meet the famous Jack Kelly!” _

Anthony subtly shook his head to get rid of that scene. “Santa Fe. It’s a town in New Mexico. People used to go there, along with other places, to get away from the cites. Most people went back though.” Anthony turned red as he realised how much he was talking. “The history is, uh, neat.”

“Huh. Looks like you really like that book. Do you think you’d like to go there someday?”

Anthony shook his head. “No.”

~7 Years Old~

“My sister is living in Russia and she says it’s cold all year!”

“Nuh-uh! People can’t live in Russia. You just made that up!”

_ “EXTRA! EXTRA! Terrified flight from burning inferno! You heard it right here.” Called out a guy who looked an awful lot like Jack Kelly the painting guy. Deep down, Anthony knew they were the same person. An adult paid Jack with a single coin and Jack gave him the paper. “Thanks Mister.” _

_ “You just made that up.” _

_ “No, I said he heard it right here and he did.” _

_ “My father taught us not to lie.” The other guy defended himself. _

_ Jack bitterly laughed. “Well mine taught me not to starve.” Jack bit out and the other guys reared his head back. _

“Yeah! You just made that up!” Another kid rallied the (rather uneducated) second one.

Anthony sighed in annoyance and and looked over at the small group. “People live in Russia. Just because it’s big and cold doesn’t mean we haven’t learned how to cope. I mean, people live in Antarctica so Russia’s not a huge deal.”

The two kids, who accused the first of lying, glared at Anthony and both yelled their discontent at being corrected. Anthony winced, the first kid looked at him with both pity and thankfulness, and the teacher hurried over to quiet down the angry, loud children.

“What’s going on here, boys? Hm?”

“Anthony called us liers!”

“I did not!”

“Did too!”

“I only said that people live in Russia! Because they do!”

“Do not.”

“Lauren, what about you?”

“Anthony’s right.”

~12 Years Old~

_ The tall guy, the unnamed one, was pacing around his room in a nice suit. Anxiety, hate, and sadness rolled off of him in suffocating waves. He looked at his closed door and shook his head. The guy shook his head to clear his thoughts and sighed. _

_ “Ok.” With another deep breath, he called out into the other room. _

_ “Huh? Yeah-” The name on Jack’s lips was muffled and Anthony couldn’t make it out. “Whoa-ho!” The next few minutes of the memory went by in a weird hazy blur but somehow Anthony still knew what was happening. Anthony did not like it. _

_ “‘Cause if I had it my way,I’d marry the guy I love.” And then the guy in the suit reached out to Jack and pulled him in for a quick, passionate kiss that had more emotion and energy in it than Anthony ever thought possible. But then Jack was pushed out of the room and the guy nearly collapsed in front of the door. _

_ The sound became fuzzy again and all Anthony heard for a while was a faint pounding on the door. And then Jack’s voice broke through clear as day. “You can’t just kiss a guy an’ throw ‘im out!”  _ Was Jack blaming him - er, not him. The guy.  _ They guy started hyperventilating and covered his eyes in an attempt to block out his surroundings. It didn’t help. _

_ “... One knock for yes, two for no. Do ‘e know about the wedding?” _

Anthony sighed as he set the book down with watery and his mother looked over. “Tony, honey, what’s wrong?”

Anthony ignored his flood of emotions and stood up, his back no longer to his mom. “I don’t like this book. At all. You can have it back, it’s yours. I finished all of my books and this one was out here.” As Anthony walked passed his mom he placed the book on the counter next to her.

“... You were reading one of my romance novels?”

“It’s not a good book.”

~14 Years Old~

“So can anyone tell me why the rattlesnake starts to rattle its tail?”

“A rattlesnake starts to rattle ‘cause it’s scared.” A girl answered the biology teacher with masked excitement.

_ “-Joe’s a jerk, he’s a rattlesnake.” The paint covered teen, Jack Kelly, fought back against the other, still unnamed teen. Though for some reason, Anthony felt as if he knew the unnamed teen and his name was on the tip of his tongue. _

_ “You’re right and you know why a snake starts to rattle?” Anthony’s mouth quirked up into a small grin. _

_ “No why?” _

_ “Cause he’s scared.” _

_ Jack scoffed and started to go back to his paint brushes. “Oh sure.” _

_ “Go and look it up the pOOR GUY’S HEAD IS SPINNING!” _

Anthony shot straight up in his chair and gently gasped. “Holy-” The kids sitting around him all gave him weird looks and he sunk back into his chair. “...That was me.” He whispered to himself in shock.  _ David Jacobs. 1899. _

Anthony smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a Jump 5 song. I don't even know if you guys will get it, but I don't care.  
> As always, thank you so much for reading my stuff! It means so so much to me. Please leave kudos and/or a comment! I love you all and if you have any feedback, I'd love to hear it!!


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